My niece recently got married at Marina Del Rey, which has breathtaking views of the Long Island Sound. It presented the perfect opportunity to showcase my new stunning Teri Jon lace dress and some mini wedding style. Glammed it up with my new Jimmy Choo glitter pumps and Edie Parker clutch - both 90% off NYC sample sale scores :) I have to confess I hesitated a little before posting these photos. I've been struggling with body image for most of my adult life, so today I'm sharing some tips and tricks of how I deal when I don't feel right in my own skin - and how you too can stay positive and live your best life.
I knew these shoes were a half size big when I got them but I neeeeeded them. I should probably pad them next time I wear them because my feet keep slipping forward. I know I always tell people not to buy shoes that don't fit or aren't comfortable but sometimes you have to make an exception. And they were cheap and pretty comfortable otherwise.
My dress came with a nude slip but I knew I'd look slimmer in a black slip so I hunted down the perfect knee length one from
Victoria's Secret of all places. Yes, I paid retail (gasp!) but it was worth every penny. For reference, I'm wearing a size medium. It's bias cut and so flattering. You need at least one of these slips in your life!
From head to toe:
- Earrings: AV Max, sample sale, $4
- Dress: Teri Jon C/O (RV $680) - I'm wearing a size 8
- Slip: Victoria's Secret, $50 (I used a gift card that I won so it was $0 OOP)
- Bag: Edie Parker, sample sale $180 (RV $1,800)
- Shoes: Jimmy Choo, sample sale, $100 (RV $895 - OK so almost 90%)
Recently when I shared the first pic, someone commented on my Insta that they didn't care for my beachy cover-ups, and missed my more tailored looks. Me too. I probably deleted 1,000 pictures before I settled on these full-body ones. Thing is, it's really hard for me to share these pictures because in this spectacular dress (did you see the details??!!) I can't hide the weight I've gained over the past year and a half. If I throw on a loose caftan and heels I feel comfortable, and fashionably camouflaged. I've been trying to mix it up so I'm not so one-note but I have limitations. Just because everyone has the right to wear whatever they want, doesn't always mean they should. I personally try to choose options that flatter. And fitted isn't all that flattering right now on me. I have to confess that I'm almost a little surprised nobody said anything sooner. I'm sure most people noticed I put on some weight, but I don't think most of you realized just how much.
While I'm all for body positivity, I have to be honest and say I do struggle. I think most women do. I am an emotional eater. I stress eat. Sometimes I don't even enjoy what I'm eating, I just eat it anyway. And I eat A LOT. It's actually shocking I'm not 500 lbs. considering the amount of calories I've been putting away these days. I first shared my struggle on a
blog post almost two years ago. Thing is, I look at those pictures and wish I looked like that again - and at the time I felt big. For that reason I try to stay positive now. I know I can't blame anyone else - I have to be accountable for my choices. I just take it day by day.
Instead of just sitting around and complaining I decided to do something about it. Again. I recently collaborated with
Orange Theory Fitness on Insta and they generously uploaded 30 workouts to my account. And even better, there is a Trader Joe's right next to the location I've been hitting. I can stock up on inexpensive healthy options so I'm not tempted by the junk my husband likes to buy "for the kids." If you haven't tried a Orange Theory workout, they offer 60 minute classes that really push you. They mix it up with interval training - with treadmills, rowers, and floor exercises. And it's different every day. In some ways it's better than the 30 minute Beachbody workouts I do at home because my competitiveness kicks in when I work out with other people.
Click here to sign up for a free class - they have locations all over the US and Canada. I've been going 1x week but I think I'm almost ready to step it up 2x week. The first couple times I almost passed out. I think my body went into shock LOL. But every second on that treadmill I think about every Fashion Week look I wanted to wear but couldn't fit - and I keep pushing.
I've long accepted I will never again look as I did 20 years ago. It's just not possible. I don't have to be a 2 again or any specific size or shape for that matter. It's not about the number. It's about feeling good in my skin. I often wonder if I'll ever get there, but I'm gonna keep trying. Until then I'm gonna keep putting on my caftans, tunics and shirt dresses. SORRY NOT SORRY.
If you are struggling too, here are a few quick tips to help you get through the day:
Don't hide. Work with what you've got.
You can be ANY size and look good if you know your body. I used to be more pear shaped so I wore lots of A-line skirts and dresses. Now I'm pretty curvy all over so it's all about balance and proportion. I prefer looser designs that still show I have a shape underneath. Ergo, my summer of caftans. If I wore boxy tunic I'd look like a giant square - and I'd look even bigger. I'm finding knee-length, narrower, rectangular silhouettes work best for me right now. It's all about visually creating as many vertical lines as you can. If you haven't developed an instinct for what will work on you, just look for other style icons with your shape - and steal their style.
Show your skinny.
I like an open neck to show my collarbone (sorry Ma, I know it's not modest...) and I show lots of my skinny arms and legs. A heel or pointed toe will elongate your legs. If you got something good (and everybody has something) then flaunt it!
Find clothing.
There is no such thing as having nothing to wear. Sorry, it's 2017 and you can shop on your phone in your bed at night. H&M, Zara and ASOS all have inexpensive options that look designer. If you hit Target for cereal, just grab a dress or two. Return if it doesn't fit. Repeat as needed. You just need a few versatile go-to options in your size that you can accessorize up or down.
Try to forgive yourself.
That's the great thing about life - even if you mess up or have a bad day, you can just start again tomorrow.
Pretend you are a supermodel.
Some days I'll put on something cute, not look in the mirror, and pretend I'm a supermodel. A little confidence goes a long way. If you believe it, everyone else will too. I've been doing this one for over 20 years now. Fake it till you make it, baby!
And now on to my beautiful minis...
It started with a Nordstrom Rack run during Clear the Rack. Picked up Akiva's shirt and mustache bow tie for $20 and Ella's floral Zunie dress for $11. I tried to track down another dress for Ava but it was sold out company wide. She settled on this thrifted Zoe LTD dress ($15) which she fell in love with. It was a religious/modest affair so they both had to add sleeves with pieces from their closet. And they are both wearing shoes gifted from Nina Kids. Akiva decided last minute he wanted a suit so I paid full price in Zara ($100), but he never asks for anything so how could I say no? Akiva once again took my pictures and selflessly gave up a half hour of buffet time. Trust me, that's a big deal for him. I really have the best kids.
It was actually really bright out so it was hard to find pics where they weren't squinting badly. They complained a bunch but at this point they know how to power through like pros.
It was really the most beautiful affair. They held the ceremony outdoors during sunset at under the Gazebo - which was pretty similar to my wedding a million years ago. The difference is that mine was late October and people still complain about how chilly it was. Seriously.
And now for my weekly sample sale update. Lots going on, but nothing you really need to hit. Between Fashion Week and the Jewish Holidays I've been pretty busy anyway. Save your $$$ for the good ones that should be coming up this Fall :)
With the passing of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, I'd like to wish all of you a happy, sweet new year. May we all find the peace we seek, and may this year hold lots of exciting adventures (and crazy sales) in store for us!
If anything I've shared today struck a cord with you, please feel free to comment below. Just know you are not alone :)
XO
Michelle
PS - If you haven't already entered my
Kidpik Instagram giveaway, you have till October 2nd to win a Kidpik subscription box for your little princess! You can read more about
Kidpik boxes here and
Kidpik basics here.
