January 2021 | Le Hoarder
Le Hoarder

A NYC -ish* Style and Shopping Blog

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Not Fat Enough?

A couple weeks ago in my Instagram stories I started asking if size 14 is considered plus—and in my most voted poll of 2020, it came out to nearly a 50/50 split. So here's my question, if you voted size 14 is not plus-sized, WHY?

A few people answered they thought plus started at 18 (and some people seemed to get really angry about it) but riddle me this, how is that ALL my clothing pictured here—my Eloquii jacket, and Betsey Johnson x Torrid shirt, bra and dress, all come from traditionally plus size stores? 

My jacket is a 12 from the Eloquii collab with Refinery29 (Note, most Eloquii starts at size 14) and all my Torrid pieces are a size 0, which is a 12 plus as well. Pro tip: if you're a straight size 14/16 you're probably gonna have to size down to a 10/12 in plus.

Sunglasses: Amazon, $10

Earrings, top, bra & dress: Betsey Johnson x Torrid, gifted (More about that collab here.)

Jacket: Eloquii, gifted (Shop similar here.)

Gloves: Amato NY, sample sale, $10

Boots: Sergio Rossi, sample sale, $25! (Read about that epic sample sale here.)

Personally I don't care if you call me plus, midsize or "not that big." As a 46-year-old woman, I've been around the block a few times and I've heard it all. Once you hit your 40s you really don't care about other people's opinions as much. 

But I also get that I didn't grow up plus so I have a completely different experience with the word/space than someone who did. I may not have the same triggers or trauma, but as someone who struggled with her relationship with food and body image her whole life, I can identify with other women who use any of the aforementioned terminology. 

Ironically, growing up, my younger plus size sister was way more popular and accepted. But I get it, I was a weird kid with my own laundry list of bulliable offences (short, skinny, buck teeth, not a lot of $, learning issues...) and I didn't have the confidence to stand up for myselfwhereas my sister and most of my siblings clearly did. And honestly it wasn't just the kids who were mean back then, it was the teachers who were the worst offenders. But that's a story for another time...

So now, at 5'5", short-waisted, 230 lbs. with a pear/hourglass shape, I'm gonna carry my weight differently than someone taller, shorter, apple-shaped, etc. In some ways I'm lucky that I can straddle the line of straight and plus, but I'm left confused when both sides seem to push back and I find myself in this space where I'm not fully accepted by any of the above. Again, why? Now I'm not skinny enough, not fat enough...where does that leave me?

And I really don't get why the plus size space is so quick to exclude women and push them into yet another category (midsize or not-plus) in a community that fought so hard for inclusivity? 

What I love most about my life as a creator/influencer or whatever you want to call me is the community. I love connecting with other women (of all ages, sizes, ethnicities, and life experiences) who all share a common love of fashion and shopping. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I've found my people. And I don't feel so alone anymore.

So how about for 2021, how about we think about ways to connect instead of focusing on our differences. Don't get me wrong, differences are what make us special and beautiful. But instead of using them to exclude, let's find ways to celebrate them TOGETHER. After the last year, I think we all could use a little more love, tolerance and acceptance. That's the lesson I want to pass on to my kids.

© Le Hoarder

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