My Magical Tanya Taylor Dress

Let me tell you the tale of my magical Tanya Taylor dress and everything it represents. 

A few months ago, Tanya Taylor had a Instagram giveaway and offered anything from their site for someone worthy. I nominated my little sister (she's 44 to my 46) for taking care of my Grandma Rhoda for the past few years until she passed at 97 last summer. If not for my sister, my Grandmother could have ended up in a home and we probably wouldn't have had as much time as we did. While we would all call and check in during the pandemic, it was my sister who was hands on and doing everything we couldn't do. So long story longer, she won. And then she gave them my address with my size & picked this dress for me. When I opened the box I cried. 

While I'm relatively new to plus sizes, my sister has been plus for her entire adult life. Growing up she didn't have a lot of options. So she never fell in love with clothing like I did. (I've spoken about my sister D and our relationships with plus sizing before here.) I hoped to share my joy with her with this Tanya Taylor win so she could choose something beautiful in her size...and she just gave it to me. 

As for fit, I'm wearing the 14 Cynthia dress (which my sister decently guessed as my size). I wish it had a little more room in the hip but I couldn't have sized up as it's a little large on top—but it might have needed to be tied tighter in the back. As a style hack Ella looped the ties around my bra to keep it hidden. Overall I love the colors and the poof sleeve. So perfect for summer! 

If you need it too, it's available in sizes 0-22 and it's now on sale! I just ordered some matching TT face masks on the new app The Yes (apple only) which I strongly recommend trying out. They offer $25 off $50 your first purchase if you complete their style quiz. They have lots of plus and size inclusive brands—and they have high and low like Anthroplogie, Balenciaga, Prada, Staud, and even Zara. You create a wishlist and make recommendations of other similar styles and let's you know when your favorites are on sale. Feel free to splurge and treat yourself or just grab the Zara dress you've been eyeing for $25 off. Click here to download. 

Dress: Tanya Taylor, c/o

Bag: Ange Libby, c/o 

Scrunchie & clips: Belle Fixe, c/o (Ava loves their silky ones!)

Shoes: Ann Taylor, c/o

For 2021 I've made it a mission to discover more colorful designer, sustainable, and women-owned brands (bonus points if it's all of the above) in larger/size-inclusive sizes. I actually just started a new hashtag #fatincolor for my colorful looks. I keep seeing smaller sized women in colorful streetstyle blowing up all over Insta and Tiktok but I don't see many larger bodies doing it. My bestie @greivy is actually a genius at that game and can make anything look expensive. But feel free to join in by tagging me and using the #fatincolor hashtag :) 

My message is that we are all worthy. We deserve beautiful clothing in our size—whatever size or shape we may be. When I first started gaining weight a few years ago I didn't know what to do. I was nearing the top of straight sizing and not quite plus yet so I focused on my designer accessories and worked it in with fast fashion. And lots of kaftans. Kaftans are awesome but they represented me needing to hide and cover my body instead of finding things that celebrated it. Celebrated my 40+ years on earth and celebrated carrying & delivering 3 healthy children. Speaking of which, shoutout to mini-me @missellasophie for taking my pictures. 

And as much as I love my new dress, I wish my sister would have tried to push herself outside of her comfort zone and picked a Tanya Taylor piece for herself. Love you D!

XO

Not Fat Enough?

A couple weeks ago in my Instagram stories I started asking if size 14 is considered plus—and in my most voted poll of 2020, it came out to nearly a 50/50 split. So here's my question, if you voted size 14 is not plus-sized, WHY?

A few people answered they thought plus started at 18 (and some people seemed to get really angry about it) but riddle me this, how is that ALL my clothing pictured here—my Eloquii jacket, and Betsey Johnson x Torrid shirt, bra and dress, all come from traditionally plus size stores? 

My jacket is a 12 from the Eloquii collab with Refinery29 (Note, most Eloquii starts at size 14) and all my Torrid pieces are a size 0, which is a 12 plus as well. Pro tip: if you're a straight size 14/16 you're probably gonna have to size down to a 10/12 in plus.

Sunglasses: Amazon, $10

Earrings, top, bra & dress: Betsey Johnson x Torrid, gifted (More about that collab here.)

Jacket: Eloquii, gifted (Shop similar here.)

Gloves: Amato NY, sample sale, $10

Boots: Sergio Rossi, sample sale, $25! (Read about that epic sample sale here.)

Personally I don't care if you call me plus, midsize or "not that big." As a 46-year-old woman, I've been around the block a few times and I've heard it all. Once you hit your 40s you really don't care about other people's opinions as much. 

But I also get that I didn't grow up plus so I have a completely different experience with the word/space than someone who did. I may not have the same triggers or trauma, but as someone who struggled with her relationship with food and body image her whole life, I can identify with other women who use any of the aforementioned terminology. 

Ironically, growing up, my younger plus size sister was way more popular and accepted. But I get it, I was a weird kid with my own laundry list of bulliable offences (short, skinny, buck teeth, not a lot of $, learning issues...) and I didn't have the confidence to stand up for myself—whereas my sister and most of my siblings clearly did. And honestly it wasn't just the kids who were mean back then, it was the teachers who were the worst offenders. But that's a story for another time...

So now, at 5'5", short-waisted, 230 lbs. with a pear/hourglass shape, I'm gonna carry my weight differently than someone taller, shorter, apple-shaped, etc. In some ways I'm lucky that I can straddle the line of straight and plus, but I'm left confused when both sides seem to push back and I find myself in this space where I'm not fully accepted by any of the above. Again, why? Now I'm not skinny enough, not fat enough...where does that leave me?

And I really don't get why the plus size space is so quick to exclude women and push them into yet another category (midsize or not-plus) in a community that fought so hard for inclusivity? 

What I love most about my life as a creator/influencer or whatever you want to call me is the community. I love connecting with other women (of all ages, sizes, ethnicities, and life experiences) who all share a common love of fashion and shopping. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I've found my people. And I don't feel so alone anymore.

So how about for 2021, how about we think about ways to connect instead of focusing on our differences. Don't get me wrong, differences are what make us special and beautiful. But instead of using them to exclude, let's find ways to celebrate them TOGETHER. After the last year, I think we all could use a little more love, tolerance and acceptance. That's the lesson I want to pass on to my kids.

What Mid-Size (or Almost Any Size) Gals Need From H&M Right Now

With the change of seasons I often feel a little anxiety about what I'm going to wear. Thanks to age and quarantine I've added a few more pounds to my frame. Every time I put on weight I try to take things in stride and challenge myself with finding new pieces to add to the mix and build off of what I already own in my closet. As I moved into the mid-size & plus-size space I had a harder time finding affordable pieces that looked luxe. While most of H&M's pieces run XXS-XXL (and I typically take a large), they do have more and more plus pieces which runs up to a 4XL. Just know that stuff sells out fast (and no guarantee of restock) so if you see something you like—grab it! 

This post is not sponsored by H&M but they did gift me several of these pieces—thanks guys! And I'll try to link up what I can with affiliate links, which basically means I get a few pennies when you click on and purchase from my links. 

First let's start with my "shacket." I'm still not clear on exactly what a shacket is but it translates to a shirt-jacket. And frankly I like saying the word. Shacket, shacket, shacket. I actually spotted this one in a photo display in their store window over the summer and I think I may have screamed a little. I stalked the site until it finally dropped online. It was love at first sight and I knew it was going to be my go-to jacket for fall/winter. Don't get me wrong, it's not for everyone. Going to back what we discussed in my last post, it may not be something traditionally "flattering" but that shouldn't matter if it's something you love. It may not work for you because it is a lot of material and can overwhelm you, but there was something so chic about it so I just had to try. Note that most of their shackets size up to XXL with a only a couple shorter versions in the larger sized. Mixed it up with my Miu Miu velvet platform booties that I scored for almost 90% off at the end of season last year. 

From top to bottom:

Hat: Zara, sale rack $5.99

Sunglasses: Mulberry & Grand c/o

Shacket: H&M (sold out but check back for restock and they have other patterns available) c/o

Belt bag: H&M c/o

Dress: H&M sale rack $4 (I grab their basic tee dresses by the handful)

Boots: Miu Miu, $148 (RV $990), The Outnet

Nails: Popsockets Mani-Phoni (press-on nails have a matching Popsocket for your phone!) c/o

For my next look, it was all about this dress. As a dress girl, I usually focus my shopping on dresses (and coats) in shapes that will work for my curves. Because I'm short-waisted, I would have preferred a higher waistline but this one was workable. I know that my friend Greivy has this dress in blue and she belted hers. I also love a voluminous sleeve to cover the little extra I'm carrying on my upper arms. And if you were looking for a Bottega dupe, this quilted vegan bag from House of Want for under 100 bucks may be just what you need.

Hat: Zara, sale rack $5.99 (hey, I'm a repeater)

Sunglasses: Valentino, Sunglass Hut c/o

Necklace: Sequin NYC, c/o

Dress: H&M c/o

Bag: House of Want c/o

Sandals: Nicholas Kirkwood, sample sale (90% off—a few years old already)

Shop these styles (and some inexpensive versions too) here:

They also sent over a few looks for the kids for back to school. I decided to try to do more coordinating than matching to showcase their own personal style. 

A few of my secrets to shopping H&M:

1. Create an account and heart your favorites. I check my hearts daily to see if any of my out of stock faves were restocked. Not to mention your favorites may come back in another color. 

2. When shopping online, you can stack 2 codes. 

3. If you have very thin teen or tween girls, be sure to check out women's not kids. Ella can fit the XXS & XS women's (especially their younger Divided line) perfectly yet the size 12 girls may fall right off of her.     

4. In-store sale racks at the end of season will often have tons for $3, $4 or $5, so always be sure to take a peek when you pop by the store. 

Is H&M one of your go-to stores? What's on your fall wishlist?

XOXO

M